10) Han Solo. My original "I wanna be him!" fascination. Loses points for his creator turning him from a loose cannon pirate with a heart of gold to pretty boring guy who only fires when fired upon. That and the whole carbonite thing. Being frozen for a year doesn't equal fun to me.
9) Michael Knight. Who WOULDN'T? "Oh, no, I don't want to be a super secret bad ass with a fully automated talking sports car. Let someone else do that." Yeah right.
8) Angus MacGyver. Any pulled out of your ass jerry rigged contraption is referred to as being "MacGyver-ed" for a reason. He hated his name, but when it was revealed, I thought it was cool. Of course...I'm named Bart. Angus is a step up.
7) Bartholomew Jojo Simpson. Beyond being perpetually 10 or whatever, when dumbasses go "derr, are you named after Bart Simpson," I could say "I AM Bart Simpson." Then hit them in the face with a rock from my slingshot and skateboard away.
6) Spider-Man. Not Peter Parker though, his life SUCKS.
5) Daniel Ocean/Robert "Rusty" Ryan. I'd be uber-handsome, slick as shit, and capable of stealing billions. Again...who wouldn't?
4) S.D. Robert "Snake" Plissken. Who cares if it's a Clint Eastwood impersonation in a post-apocalyptic world. HE'S BAD ASS. Welcome to the human race.
3) James Bond. See #5, and multiply by infinity, and add bad ass to the equation. Sean Connery or Pierce Brosnan edition, please.
2) Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce. Either the Donald Sutherland, or
the Alan Alda editions. Why? The inexplicable pimpness. For some reason, this cat was the cock of the walk at the 4077th. Couldn't have been only his insane sense of humor. The Sutherland version looks like a weenie...hell, so does the Alda with that weird hair thing that my elementary school phys ed teacher emulated so well. But not only did pretty much everyone love him, but Hawkeye always "won."
1) Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr. This man has it freakin' all. Brilliant. Good looking. Handy with a gun AND a bullwhip. Looks good in a fedora. Cool nickname. Gets to kick Nazi ass. Says ridiculously cool things like "its not the years, it's the mileage." Sean Connery is his pops. Plus, it's kinda neat that my list bookends with Harrison Ford roles, before he starting phoning it in.What about you guys? Who'd you want to be?
