World...

Meet Erin. Erin, meet the world. You guys get along okay now.

Born today, the 18th, at 12:26 pm. 7 lbs, 7 oz. The Queen is doing well. Your host is very giddy.

The Heiress has arrived. Now, the hard part begins. ;)

It's the Final Countdown...

We're leaving together...but still it's farewell...

Don't ask how and why I know the words to The Final Countdown, simply remember that I retain the stupidest info.

Anyway, for those of you astute enough to be paying attention to that little clock on the left, we're less than a week away from the due date. And while that term is on my brain, I'm officially declaring, as a semenatical bastard, that three pregnancy terms be changed. Due date, morning sickness, labor. Due date my ass. Guess date. Morning sickness? Whatever, it comes whenever. Call it pregnancy sickness. And labor? I know I'm Mr. "they're only words" but why give childbirth a name that everyone knows and associates with work? Our childbirth classes calls it birthing time, and I like that. Motion passes.

And by the way, not nearly enough of you used that damn donate button. Thanks bunches! :D

Anyway, we inch forward. Things haven't progressed here in the late stages exactly how we wanted, unfortunately. A little mild hypertension may put a monkey in our wrench (don't correct me, I like saying it like that). Blood work was all good, so I'm inclined to believe the higher than normal blood pressure is from the fact that Jessie is smaller than the average bear, and she's in that last stage where she's swelling up a bit in other places besides the tummy (hehe, tummy). But, even midwives are cautious when it comes to high blood pressure. So, we may have to make adjustments to the birth plan. Unfortunately again, we have no idea how yet, and probably wont, especially if it stays mild and the blood work keeps coming back good before birthing time. I know they'll be watching that BP like a hawk when she starts, though. My wife is also not a big fan of bedrest, which she's been on since Friday when the hypertension was first noted.

As a complete aside, I've been getting an inordinate amount of spam in my email spambox. I used to get about 5 a day. Now I'm up to like 90, and that's with me periodically cleaning it out, if only to make sure something doesn't get shuffled incorrectly to the spam. Plus, spam is making to my inbox, which hasn't happened in a loooooooong time. I've had to hit the "report spam" button a dozen times this week. The only thing I did lately was register my new camera with Sony, so if those bastards sold off my email address...grr.

An Interview with Elmo and Ninja:

First off, good evening to you, Mr. Elmo and Ms. Ninja.

Elmo: There better be food this time, man.

Ninja: I hope this won't take long, I have...stuff...to do. Yeah. Stuff.

Me: No worries, it'll be pretty brief. First off, I'd like to ask the two of you who you're supporting in this years United States Presidential Election.

Elmo: zzzzzzzzzz

Me: Elmo, wake up, I asked you a question.

Elmo: Oh, what, the president thing? Uh, I dunno. Who would take me for a walk more?

Me: Probably Obama. Though McCain might have Palin walk you.

Elmo: Then I don't care. That one.

Me: It's funny you should put it like that...

Elmo: zzzzzzzz

Me: Alrighty then. Ninja?

Ninja: Look buddy, I don't know who put you up to this, but I'm a Nermal supporter all the way.

Me: Nermal? The kitten from Garfield?

Ninja: You better believe it. That girl would be this nation's best hope...

Me: Uh, Ninj...Nermal's a dude.

Ninja: Get out.

Me: No, really. Nermal is a boy kitten.

Ninja: But...girl voice?

Me: Yeah, I know.

Ninja: Way to crush my dreams, human.

Me: It's what I do. Okay, next question. How do each of you feel about the impending arrival of Erin?

Elmo: Nrnrnrnrnrnrrrrr

Me: Elmo, would you stop chewing on your foot for a minute to answer the question?

Elmo: But it iiiiiiiiiiiiitches!

Me: Come on, you little freakshow.

Elmo: FINE! ...what?

Me: ERIN!

Elmo: Oh, right...that's the thing in mommy's belly, right? Why you keep yelling at me to get down all the time?

Me: Yeah.

Elmo: Why does the stupid cat get to get up there?

Me: She doesn't weigh close to twenty pounds.

Elmo: Are you calling me fat? Hey, where's the food?

Me: This baby does effect you, you know. We're co-sleeping.

Elmo: We do that now.

Me: WITH THE BABY!

Elmo:...where will I sleep?

Me: You can stay on the bed, you just can't sleep up top because that's where the baby's cosleeper bed will be.

Elmo: This kid better take me for walks.

Me: Not for a few years, buddy.

Elmo: I got gypped in this deal...

Me: How about you Ninja? ...Ninja? Okay, damnit, where did you go?

Ninja: I'm up here, I told you I had stuff to do.

Me: Your stuff involves getting on top of the laundry sorter.

Ninja: A cat has to have her priorities.

Me: So, about Erin...

Ninja: What do I care, I'm still getting fed and having my litter box changed, right?

Me: Yeah...

Ninja: Then have 10 of those things, see if I care.

Me: You're a credit to your species.

Ninja: I know. Oh look, something over there is moving. Gotta pounce!

Me: I think we've lost Ninja. What do you think Elmo?

Elmo: Mommy, make Daddy stop asking questions and being all mean and stuff!

Me: Great, well, folks, looks like we lost our interviewees already. Sorry they weren't more forthcoming, but what can I say...it's a dog and a cat. This has been your host, Bart, saying Good Night, Good Morning and Good Day.

I've Got Something To Say:

And that is I have nothing to say. One of those days where I know I have at least 10 topics I've wanted to talk about, but I can't seem to wrap my brain around them enough to formulate a post. But I also don't want to get back in a funk where I don't update because darnit, I'm pretty sure I lost a few readers the last time that happened.

Perhaps I'll go to an old stand by and do a Tales From the Past later on today, if I can't wrap the brain around anything else that's a bit more current. And if I do one of those, maybe I'll see if Katy still reads me.

So, for now, a shout out to my friend John and his wife down in Baton Rouge, who is apparently doing okay as of yesterday, and also a reminder that I wasn't in the least bit kidding about that donate button to the left there, underneath the countdown. I'm not freaking Rockerfeller, people, and this kid is gonna be disadvantaged enough being my kid. Help the poor girl out by helping her parents out.

The Home Stretch...sorta...

For those paying attention to that countdown, and with rudimentary math skills (which means "you are better at math than Bart"), you'll know that Jessie is about 2 months away from birthing time. Bless her, she's soldiering through like a champ, though her small stature basically puts her at a disadvantage. Same size growing baby but she's 5 feet tall (that's 1.524 meters for international types...I guess that's how you measure height ;) ).

That's why I say it's the home stretch...sorta. Because she's carrying as if she was more like a month away, which is definitely a bummer. But like I said, she's a champ. She's got complaints, but she's getting through the day.

Now that I've given you an update, I'm going to be the complete immodest guy you all know and love. I figure I have at least like...5 readers. Well, the countdown now has a nice Donate button...feel free to use that. I'm not looking for huge handouts (though I wouldn't turn them down, that's for damn sure, like I said, I'm shameless about this...I'll take all the financial help I can get!), but feel free to chip in. Especially those of you who can't come to Erin's pre-birthday party. Think of it as a gift card or something. :D But believe you me...I'll be mentioning that button...this button...

...quite a bit in the next few months. Maybe I'll even figure out a way to acknowledge people publically or something...I haven't thought it through that much yet.

Give early...give often...

Yeah, I know, I've gone all PBS for my kid. But let's be honest...I don't get paid all that much.