The Half-Blood Prince

There will be spoilers ahead. Oh yes, there will be spoilers...

Okay, I came out of the movie, and I liked it. I was entertained. Had a good time. Didn't initially have any quibbles from the changes made from book to movie (in fact, I thought some of the changes to Harry's Felix Felices adventures were great, and quite funny). Jessie was disappointed. I wondered why. I started thinking about it. And then, I became disappointed. I still liked the movie, but I am now disappointed. And I'm really pissed at David Yates, the director. Who also cut and chopped Order of the Phoenix in order to make it the shortest movie simply because he wanted it to be the shortest one. And it worries the hell outta me that he's directing the Deathly Hallows...es. Because I began to think back upon the books. And no, this isn't a "boo hiss they aren't like the books" problem. It's a "boo hiss, how the hell are they gonna fix this so the actual story is told correctly?" problem. Biiiig difference.

There's good darn reason why DH is going to be two movies. To play "catch up" with all the important things excised!

For example...we met Kreacher in OotP. We get brief mention of Regulus Black (by Slughorn of all people, why didn't they take 5 seconds during the family tree scene in OotP and have Sirius talk of his brother?). So we're set for the oh so obvious reveal that the fake locket was placed by Regulus A. Black (RAB). But what we're missing is seeing Kreacher at Grimauld Place LOOTING AND HIDING ANYTHING HE COULD FIND OF THE BLACKS! So now, DH will have to do some extra story telling to get from point A to point B by way of point M, N, and O.

And what about The Gray Lady? We haven't even seen Nearly Headless Nick for 3 movies or so. But she's rather important, and I can't even recall if they've mentioned her as one of the Hogwart's ghosts!

I get the very real feeling that the reason why Dumbledore's funeral wasn't at the end of Half-Blood Prince is because they're saving it for the beginning of DH. Why? Well...I've already have seen pictures of Harry, Ron, and Hermione fleeing through the streets of London wearing formal clothing. And while we met Fleur DeLecour (sp?) in Goblet of Fire, the movies have left her out since, directly pertaining to her romance of Bill Weasley. Which in the novel is why they're wearing formal outfits...they've run from Bill and Fleur's wedding. I think this is also why the scene of the Weasley house being attacked and destroyed was added (as in, not in the book at all). No Weasley residence, no wedding there. I suppose they could still have a wedding, Lupin and Tonks, but it seems to make more sense to make it Dumbledore's funeral, so that his will can be executed (a plot point that can't be left out).

I bet Rowling, at least a small part of her, is wondering why she didn't exercise more control. I heard she made them keep Kreacher in OotP (which was made before DH was published, and so they didn't realize he'd reappear and that it'd be significant), but there are so many details that are almost essential at this point that DH is going to have to be cumbersome to get them sorted.

And this isn't even getting in to how they left out most of the Pensieve scenes, so while you get an idea of how creepy young Tom Riddle was, you don't get nearly the amount of Voldemort backstory, which was really what the damn book was for in the first place!

Oh, and I was REALLY annoyed at how the Half-Blood Prince (the mystery of the person, not the movie itself) was given the Marauders Map treatment. No wondering who he actually is throughout the movie? No explanation given on what it actually means? GAH!

I did find it rather amusing at how they had to make a special point of establishing that Harry and Hermione are very close...but not that close. I've always thought the books made that relatively clear, while visually, the movies give the impression, if you had never read the books, that Harry and Hermione were eventually going to end up together. They started mending that in GoF with the ball scene, but there were still a lot of "close" moments between Harry and Hermione. So, internally, I giggled a bit when Dumbledore flat out asked Harry about him and Hermione.

So, all in all...entertaining, but ultimately executed in such a way that I'm very afraid that The Deathly Hallows is going to be a confuddled mess.

Oh, and here...Erin playing in the late morning sun.

A Little More Thought, Please.

So, I recently read an article. http://www.virginmedia.com/movies/movieextras/top10s/goonies-sequel.php. In this article, they talk about the ever-in-talks Goonies 2, and start speculating about who could play the literal next generation of the Goonies. Which I don't have a problem with...except for their complete lack of imagination, save for one casting choice.

Pretty much every offspring is modeled exactly after their parent (with the exception of Andi). Come on, Virgin, show some imagination! Why not swap the sons of Mikey and Brand, and have Brand's son the smaller but smarter one, and Mikey's son the "meathead"? Why not make Mouth's kid the slight outcast, like Chunk, and have Chunk's kid be the techno-wizard. Data's kid can be the smartass. You can keep the stereotypes, but think outside the box some, for crying out loud.

Makes me wish I wrote for sites like that.

Hi!

I'm a slacker, sue me.

No, don't. I need my monies.

Anyway, I've been watching a little movie lately about a creepy old man stalker type, who collects odd things, consorts with insects, and lusts after someone who is probably more than 3 times his junior.

The amazing thing is, this creepy old man stalker type is absolutely adorable and lovable. Who is this and how can this be?

Seriously. He's like 700 years old. His technology is very analog to EVE's digital and ultra-high tech. He's about 700 years old, so I'm figuring she's at least half that, probably "younger." She definitely hasn't been active long enough to build up sentience like WALL-E has, though she does with his help. She clearly doesn't want him around at first, but he stalks the heck out of her, and then does some pretty stalker-y things when she's powered down.

But look at 'em...so darn cute.

Since I Know You Want To Know...

Yes, I saw the new Star Trek. Yes, I liked it a lot.

But even if it wasn't badass in it's own right, as a long time Trek fan, it was worth it to see the cadet Kirk infamously "beat" the Kobayashi Maru no-win scenario. It's just a shame that the time line changes didn't let him get that commendation for original thinking he talked about in Wrath of Khan.

Major League...again.

So, as I watched, yet again, Major League today, I noticed something interesting.

In many scenes when the players are out in public, at restaurants or bars, the others have alcohol, but Rick Vaughn has soda (most notably he's drinking beer right before the final game when Dorn's wife seduces him). It starts at the French restaurant that Taylor takes Vaughn and Hayes to when they get to Cleveland. Taylor and Hayes have wine, Vaughn has soda. Then later, when Vaughn is signing his first autograph, he has soda, Taylor has a beer (I think).

And it made me wonder...was there a dropped plotline about why Rick Vaughn wasn't drinking? Maybe he was on probation...like he said, he didn't think he'd be able to make spring training because he was in jail. Maybe part of his release was to stay off the sauce?

If anybody knows, let me know. My curiosity has been piqued.

There's an Injustice...

And no, it's not that I've gone this long without blogging, though I do apologize for it.

No, the injustice is here, and with baseball season underway, I figured I'd bring it up:

http://www.nfl-nba-mlb-nhl.com/category.sc?categoryId=98

There are some great, great, GREAT Movie/TV jerseys here. I mean, a Jimmy Chitwood Huskers "Hoosiers" basketball jersey? I'd wear that.

And there's some really good fictional players from many sports movies there.

The injustice comes when you note the selection from the Major League movies.

There's Wild Thing, Ricky Vaughn. There's Roger Dorn. There's Pedro Cerrano. There's Willie Mays Hayes. Theres...Tanaka? Well, okay. And that's it. Obviously, there are lots of people left out there. But one of them is glaring and I'm actually sorta steamed about it.

Where's #7? Where's Jake Taylor?

You can argue that the first movie is supposed to focus on a group of players, mainly Vaughn, Hayes, and Taylor (and to some extent Dorn, who, by the way, has many B.J. Surhoff separated at birth moments, especially after his "pep talk" to Vaughn before the penultimate strikeout that leads to the climax). I'd argue that it's Taylor's movie, the rest get second focus, and everyone else gets third. I'd even argue that while the focus clearly shifts in the second movie, it still has Taylor at the heart.

So where's his effin' jersey, you buttholes? I mean, you gave TANAKA a jersey. An offensive (though it's okay, its for laughs!) stereotype that, in the wake of all the good Japanese players that have crashed the MLB since looks so dated in the second movie...but you don't make one for Jake Taylor...the man not only was the heart and central focus of the original movie, but he ends up managing the team by the end of the second!

Yeah, you can get Taylor t-shirts on the web if you look, but I'm pointing a finger directly at that site for a grave failing on their part.

Side note: For those familiar with the movie, have you ever seen the alternate ending? Where Lou Brown hands in his resignation to Rachel Phelps, saying he has no intentions on hanging around while she machinates a move to Florida, and she tells him it was all a ruse? That she actually did love the team, and wanted to keep it in Cleveland, but it was on the verge of bankruptcy, so she not only personally hand picked him to lead them, but personally scouted the team, trying to find players she knew could turn it around. She then played the "Herb Brooks" ploy, uniting the team by being a bitch to them. Brown agrees to stay, but Phelps tells him he can never reveal what really happened, or her "true" nature. Test screeners liked having Rachel as the evil bitch villain though, so it was removed. You can find it on one of the special edition DVDs. Not to mention, she plays the bitch too often in the previous scenes, especially when alone with GM Charlie Donovan...an ending like that, while "happy" would seem jarring and out of place and too neatly wrapped up and perfect.

And just because I know you'd kill me if I didn't, your dose of cute:

And just for kicks, the final 20 minutes (cut in to two parts), which is basically the climactic win and you're in game they play vs. the Yankees for the pennant.

Top Ten Secondary Movie/TV Characters I Can't Help But Feel Really Sorry For:

Wow, the title threatens to be longer than the body of the post, huh? Kinda like that Fiona Apple album from the late 90s with the ridiculously long name.

Anyway, I'm sure you have this syndrome, too. You'll be watching a movie, and for whatever reason, you really start to sympathize (or hell, empathize) with a secondary character. I figured I'd call attention to the ones I've always felt really bad for. Obviously there might be spoilers here, so read at your own risk.

10. Sallah/Marcus Brody in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. They barely make the list because my reasons for feeling bad for the characters isn't story related, it stems from poor characterization continuity. Both of these characters change drastically from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Both are relatively dignified in Raiders, Marcus especially so. In Last Crusade they are both turned in to clown shoes for comic relief. For shame.

9. Ross on Friends. This is a bit of a stretch since its hard to call any of the main cast of Friends "secondary" but indulge me that on any given episode, given the ensemble nature, any of them can take secondary roles. He's not always right, but the show does a fairly good job of making him the brunt of most of the jokes. Almost every altercation he has with Phoebe is a great example of how being "cruel to Ross" is funny in their world, but the example I'll give is when Ross and Phoebe debate evolutionary theory. Ross, being a doctor of paleontology, of course believes in evolutionary theory, but Phoebe doesn't prescribe to any one course. By the end of the show, she gets Ross to admit that there is the possibility he might be wrong since so many theories have been disproved in the scientific world over the course of human history. When he does reluctantly concede that she has a point there, she mocks him for "caving" on his beliefs to the "entertainment" of the audience. Man, I simply feel bad for the guy at those points.

8. Bishop in Aliens. He gets pissed all over by Ripley the entire movie for her (justifiable) fear of artificial life forms, but he's nothing but virtuous, even embarking on the very dangerous mission to remotely fly the second drop ship down so they can get the hell off that rock. He comes through and right after Ripley FINALLY gives him respect, he gets bisected by the Queen. Rough gig. Honorable mention: Newt and Hicks...mainly because Aliens goes out of its way to have these two survive only to have them unceremoniously offed before Aliens3 ever really starts. Booo!

7. Bob Morton in Robocop. Okay, he's an asshole...but he's not as big of an asshole as Dick Jones or Clarence Boddicker, and he did conceptualize Robocop. This is the guy who thought up the whole Robocop idea, and he's grenaded to bits by Boddicker, because he dared to make Jones look bad when ED209 malfunctioned and talk some shit in the executive washroom at OCP. In a way, Murphy doesn't only avenge his own execution by Boddicker and his gang, but his creator's execution.

6. Every person caught in the crossfire of every 80s action movie ever. Seriously, watch an 80s (and sometimes 90s) action movie, and there'll be some poor schmuck standing in the wrong place at the wrong time. Heck, I think in Total Recall Arnie uses one as a human shield once they've been killed. Unceremonious!

5. That lady Marcellus Wallace shoots because he's wobbly from the car accident in Pulp Fiction. I mean, come on, even in a movie full of gratuitous violence, was it necessary for her to take a round in the leg for trying to be a good Samaritan? I always cringe at that scene, moreso than the "needle in the chest" scene.

4. Frank Poole in 2001: A Space Oddysey. Poor bastard never saw it coming, did he? And here's an even worse scenerio...what if HAL didn't kill him initially by slamming the pod in to him? That means he ends up starving to death in his space suit, floating in the vast depthness of space. Shudder.

3. Cicero in Gladiator. Who, you're probably asking? Maximus' aide, the one with the scars. OH THAT GUY you're saying. Yeah, him. Poor guy. He gets about 5 minutes of screen time. He gets to talk to Maximus right before he's betrayed...gets to find Maximus at the Colliseum, and then deliver his figurines and ring to him, then he gets to talk to Lucilla for about a hot second, then, for all his faithfulness he gets hung AND hit with like a dozen arrows.

2. Mouse in the Matrix. I just feel bad for the little guy. He seems so...chipper...for a guy in their relatively bleak situation and he gets offed relatively unceremoniously. I also feel fairly bad for Apoc and Switch in that regard, but at least they don't seem quite as full of life as Mouse did, although they do go out with more of a whimper than Mouse...Mouse at least gets a warriors death.

1. The Mother in Big. Seriously...everytime I watch Big all that I can think of is "jeez, the mother really gets screwed here...thinks her boy is kidnapped for at least a couple months and then bammo, he's home again, and he's not going to be able to give any real coherent story to his whereabouts or kidnappers so she can have justice or closure. That poor woman. Plus, her son lost his virginity at 12...technically.

Kevin Smith Saves The Day

With a release of his trailer for Zack and Miri Make A Porno.

I've pretty much eaten up everything Smith has done, so of course I'm on board for this. Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, and porn. A winning combo!

Warning, this is a Red Band trailer. That means it's uncensored. No nudity or anything, but langauge. NSFW.

http://www.askmen.com/video/2008_apr/apr02.html

Such An Obvious Joke

Yet, it's still hilarious.

Jessie and I are thinking about going to a movie tomorrow on Labor Day. We got nothin' else better to do, and why not. So, I check to see what's playing at our local favorite theater (which isn't one of the biggest in country which is really close, Muvico Egyptian 24. It's nice and all, but it gets a little...crazy...in there. This one is closer and relatively overlooked in Muvico's wake). I pan down the list, and see that the comedy Pineapple Express is still playing. Only two shows, though. First showing?

4:20.

Now, for those of you that aren't "in the know," Pineapple Express is a stoner movie, and 4:20 is a long standing "code" for marijuana. Such an obvious joke...but Jessie and I still laughed. Someone at the theater is a jokester.

The Dark Knight.

Haven't seen it yet? Maybe you should come back to this later. I might inadvertently spoil something for you.

Amazing movie. There's so much going on...so many layers of things going on at once. Issues of duality (White Knight of Gotham/Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman/Joker) that ultimately lead up to the embodiment of duality in the Batman universe: Two-Face. Powerful imagery throughout.

And of course, a gleefully unrestrained performance by Heath Ledger. Everybody who flipped out when it was announced that Chris Nolan had cast Ledger should send Nolan an engraved apology. There has been talk of a posthumous Oscar nod for him. Screw that. The posthumous, while tragic, is circumstantial. This performance flat deserves to be nominated for Best Supporting Actor. Jack Nicholson was Jack in clown makeup. Ledger is The Clown Prince of Gotham. A completely impulsive driven entity that leaves scorched earth in his wake. Two of his lines stick out for me: "Do I look like a man with a plan?" and "I'm like a dog chasing cars! I wouldn't know what to do if I ever caught it!"

And as usual, the entire cast is superb. Bale is the best Batman we've had. I know some take issue with his "Batman voice" but I love that. Caine and Freeman are still wonderfully understated, and Oldman was almost born to play Lt/Commissioner Gordon. Gyllenhall is a definite upgrade over Mrs. Cruise, and Aaron Eckhart takes a relatively thankless role of Harvey Dent and makes it the lynchpin of the entire movie. Even Anthony Michael Hall turns up as a news anchor.

By the way, was anybody wondering if the casting of Nestor Carbonell as the Mayor of Gotham was a subtle inside joke...Carbonell played "Batmanuel" in the live action Tick.

Anyway...I highly recommend it. They've set the new bar...I don't know if they'll be able to top it.

Flashback Friday: Rad

So, back in the mid 80s we were blessed with one of the cheesiest movies of all time...but yet, it was actually sort of ahead of it's time with the prevalence of Extreme Sports today: Rad. Finally, a movie about a paperboy who becomes a BMX champion.

I once railed for The Monster Squad to get a DVD release, I now focus my attention for Rad. Thank god for YouTube, though, because you can see some cheese-tastic clips including the opening sequence:

The climactic final race on the "Hell Track:"

The cheesiest scene in film history (though if you get through it, you get to my favorite part of the movie..."You over-rotated..." "...no...shit.")

Yes, that's the girl that would eventually grow up to marry Uncle Jessie on Full House.

Also, it was casting genius to get Olympic gymnast Bart Connor to play a blonde egotistical pretty boy hotshot all-star bike rider...I guess William Zabka was busy.

And to finish off, a silly little tribute video, which kinda repeats some thing I already put, but I laugh at the little fake quotes at the beginning:

Not Bad Prognasticating!

So, a little over a year ago (April 12 2007) I spoke of how I was looking forward to the new Indy movie, and how I thought it should embrace his age and not overlook it. We're a little less than two weeks away from it arriving, so let's look back on it with what we know. Now, I got some things wrong, obviously. It doesn't seem like he "hung up the whip" at all. But I did say they should set it in during the Cold War era and have the enemies be the Russians. Nailed that (though I did say 70s...missed that by 20 years, but still). Said he should have a hot shot son. Well...I might have nailed that. We won't know what Shia LeBeouf's actual role is until May 22nd, they're being pretty secretive about that, but it's widely rumored that he's the child of Indy by way of Marion Ravenwood, being played once again by Karen Allen (which is awesome by the way). But his character is definitely a hotshot guy, so if he turns out to be his kid, I got that, too. Plus, in the trailer, they definitely had a moment where the music kicks in as he puts the hat on, which I said would be a goosebump like moment.

That's not bad for knowing ZERO about the movie at the time.

And a big shout out goes to Chewy, who in the comments suggested maybe an alien artifact could be used, also a good prediction. Now, the Crystal Skulls may or may not be alien, but it's definitely been reported that the movie itself will definitely explore the possibility that they could be. Which is a parallel to the time period, it's going to be a little more sci-fi than the others, because it takes place in the 50s when sci-fi serials were popular, since the other movies were based on Lucas and Spielbergs love of serials when they were kids.

For those Indy fans that poo-poo the sci-fi thing...oh shut up. You had no problem with the Ark of the Covenent spewing avenging angels and melting faces, or with Mola Ram ripping out the still beating hearts of sacrifices with his bare hands and the victim still living to be burned alive, or with the Holy Grail healing the gunshot wound of Henry Jones, Sr. There's always been sci-fi elements to these movies, but they were masked by "religious mythologies" (whether Western or Eastern) Now they're dropping that aspect (maybe). Don't get all worked up. I understand that it's trepidation from what Lucas did with the Star Wars prequels and such, but lets remember that Spielberg was on this, too, and actually directed. Not to mention that Harrison Ford is a bit of a persnippity guy and wouldn't sign off on something simply to do it. He's said he wanted to play Indy again, but he also had been turning down the script treatments for awhile.

For those that haven't seen the trailer. Take note of a few things...one, looks like the warehouse from end of Raiders, doesn't it? Also, there is a shot of a box that says Roswell, NM on it...a clear indication of the alien aspect. I love the "Damn, I thought that was closer" moment. That's classic Indy. But yes, note that thing with hat and the music kicking. Damn that gets me.

Two Out of Three Usually Isn't Bad

So, my friends and I have this long running gag about the cable TV channel AMC. American Movie Classics. The joke being that at least two of the three are right. The American, and the Movie.

See, years ago, they really did show a lot of classics. But then Ted Turner, who owned the rights to a lot of those movies, saw another cash cow, and another network was created which had exclusive rights to a lot of the old movies deemed classics: TCM, Turner Classic Movies. AMC had to start filling in the programming gaps with gems like Predator 2. It's gotten better lately, to be fair, but let's say that there was some really stretches on the "Classics" part of their title.

So last week, while Jessie and I were in Vegas, I found myself flipping channels while Jessie either got ready or was napping (I forget which), and I came across AMC. And once again, it was two out of three.

Except this time, it was a different two out of three.

The movie they were running was Das Boot.

A movie, to be sure, and very much a classic. But Das Boot is about as American as Canadian Bacon (The food, not the movie, which was directed by Michael Moore before he became such a polarizing figure). Great movie. But it's from Germany (technically West Germany).

What's next? Seven Samarai?

Relatively Breaking News - Heath Ledger Found Dead

Heath Ledger was found dead in his apartment (Edit: Now they say it was Mary-Kate Olsen's apartment....Edit again: which they retracted...I hate the news sometimes). Saw this on several news sources including MSNBC.com, and CNN.com.

Holy shit. I was totally looking forward to The Dark Knight because his portrayal of The Joker looked to be the shit. Australia, and acting, lost a good son today.

It kind of scares me to think that it was reported that Ledger suffered insomnia because of his intensive research and immersion in to the Joker. What if it had a lasting psychological effect leading to a self destructive pattern?

Haiku, Special "Movies You'd Have to Pay Me to See" Edition

Cloverfield opens
Godzilla meets Blair Witch?
you can count me out.

I'm sorry, but ticket prices are too expensive these days for me to watch a 90210 reject cast run around New York from a monster you LEARN NOTHING ABOUT in a "found footage" movie that's bound to leave you sick to your stomach. Yeah, you never saw the Blair Witch, but you learned all about her.

I get the feeling this movie will have a strong opening weekend, and post good numbers on the sheer fact that it was relatively low budget, but be a footnote in cinema history.

I Know There's a Writer's Strike...

But get some freaking originality.

One Missed Call...

I liked it a lot better when it was a video and called The Ring.


Merry (or Happy, you weird people) Christmas.

Top Ten Thursday: Best Print to Screen Adaptations.

How many times have you heard “that was pretty good…but the book was better?” If I had a nickel for every time I heard that, I’d be converting a buttload of nickels in to paper money. Sometimes, the translation works better than others. And sometimes you get Bonfire of the Vanities. Or Dune.

So, here we go with my choices for the best print to screen adaptations. I know this is supposed to be top ten, but I honestly can’t rank these. Let’s say that in my head, they’re all tied, ten ways, for first. I know, that’s cheating. You’ll get over it.

The Hunt For Red October – I know, most people would think I’d probably say one of the Tom Clancy adaptations that Harrison Ford was in. But, to be fair, Red October is probably the most faithful adaptation. Patriot Games was a close second, but it loses lots of points for making a prequel book in to a sequel movie, and for losing all the underlying subtext in the translation. And as much as it pains me to admit it, I feel that Alec Baldwin was a more fitting Jack Ryan than Harrison Ford.

Stand By Me – Originally a short story entitled “The Body” by Stephen King, this was one of my favorite movies growing up. And talk about taking the source material and expanding it to great success. Speaking of that formula…

The Shawshank Redemption – Another Stephen King short story adaptation, and one of the best movies ever.

Lord of the Rings – Collectively, they do pretty good justice to the books, enough that most fan boys weren’t complaining too much. Though believe me, complaining was to be had. Of course, Fellowship managed to zip by the most boring parts of the book. As my friend Ryan likes to put it, it was nothing but 50 pages of “the countryside is beautiful, but then it was night and the Dark Riders came, and we were scared, but then it was day and we were full of hope and the countryside is beautiful, but then it was night and the Dark Riders came…”

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – So far, the best adaptation, for my money. Lots of stuff included, though there were some disappointing things economically left out. But not as much as Goblet of Fire or Order of the Phoenix…not nearly as much as OotP. And the first two movies were way too schmaltzy, though I guess that’s okay for intro movies.

Get Shorty – Just edges Out of Sight for my favorite Elmore Leonard adaptation. I do believe Leonard himself said that it was the best adaptation of his books, style wise. John Travolta is a weird choice for Chili Palmer, if you’ve ever read the books, but the rest of the casting is pretty awesome. Especially Gene Hackman.

The Bourne Identity – I’ll readily admit that I haven’t been able to read the book all the way through. Something about Robert Ludlum’s style doesn’t agree with me. I guess that’s why the movie gets my nod for really good adaptation.

The Princess Bride – Talk about a movie capturing the tone of a book almost perfectly. The movie manages to fit both the reverential and satirical nature of the book. It might help that the author and screenwriter were the same.

Fight Club – One of those rare times where I thought the movie was better than the book, marginally. I think I liked the book ending better, but I couldn’t fault the movie makers for changing it. Kind of like The Firm. Lots of people went nuts when that movie came out and the entire ending was changed…but did you really want to see Tom Cruise copying files for 30 minutes?

Jaws – Definitely raised the quality of the source material. What was a passable novel became the original summer blockbuster. Was it fate that the mechanical shark wouldn’t work correctly so Spielberg was forced to keep it hidden most of the movie, making it much more suspenseful? How about the pitch perfect casting? Who knows, but it does work.

Well, that's it for me today, brothers and sisters. Excuse me, while I go continue being sick...it's been two weeks now, and the novelty has long ago worn off.

David's Weekend Wandering

So David McMahon is now asking weekly questions. I've missed all of them up to now, but as I need inspirado, I'll answer the call. The call being his question. He didn't actually call me. He doesn't know my number. He calls it "Weekend Wandering." I thought it should be Wondering. But I'm not David. I'm more like a much shorter Goliath. With better table manners. And not biblical. Yet.

And the question is: Hollywood's knocking on your door, to offer you top billing in a studio blockbuster, alongside any movie star of your choice. Whom do you choose?

Wow, what a question for a pop culture junkie like myself. In the not too distant past, I'd probably have said Harrison Ford. The man is Indiana Jones and Han Solo for crying out loud. Not to mention playing Jack Ryan on screen more than any other actor. But alas, that ship has probably sailed, and since the question doesn't actually say what kind of blockbuster it is, I'll have to go another route, and pick who is probably my current favorite actor:

Matt Damon.

Oh yes, I'd make people forget all about that Affleck (AFLAC!) guy. Matt and Ben, nay, Matt and Bart. I'd be the Hutch to his Starsky. The Cash to his Tango. The Hooch to his Turner...no, wait, that's not very flattering.

Well, that was fun. While I have you, and while we're talking about stuff David is doing...

David is also going out of his way to help out fledgling writers with an ongoing series of postings entitled "Telling Write From Wrong." That man never met a homonym he didn't like. Anyway, ask him questions about writing, and he'll give you advice. Simple enough. And he's not doing it as a shameless ploy like I would be, so that's a plus on his side. Go have a looksie.

Top Ten Movies That Really Didn't Need Sequels.

Okay, I'm sick, so bear with me if I'm a bit all over the place. But I had it in my head that I was going to do this today, and even though I'm my own boss when it comes to this here corner of the internets, I'd like to stick to that deadline.

So really, how many movies are out there that honest to goodness needed no sequel? Or if a sequel was to be made, to not piss over the original? I'm sure there are more than 10, but you get a top ten list anyway. Possible spoiler alert, as well.

10. The Matrix
Here's one where sequels made sense, but the execution was horrible. How many of you, like me, noticed that by the end of the trilogy, everything was back to where it was originally? It takes the original movies ending and flushes it. Plus, why have Neo go through all that trouble to save Trinity in "Reloaded" only to kill her anyway in "Revolutions." Especially when they filmed the movies together.

9. Halloween
Not even the second one, which isn't a bad sequel and I like, can redeem the majority of the other sequels.

8. The Bad News Bears
A classic movie which pretty much said all there was on the subject...which they then twisted and dripped the last vestiges of story out of to make the god awful sequels.

7. American Graffiti
How many people even remember that the made a sequel to American Graffiti?

6. Psycho
Seriously, why? Leave well enough alone. And I'm not even talking about the Van Sant remake.

5. Wayne's World
The second one was entertaining, but it's pretty much the same movie, but with different set pieces. Like Top Gun and Days of Thunder. Or Point Break and The Fast and the Furious.

4. The Blair Witch Project
Like or hate the first movie, any sequel to it would have to be forced. And it was. And it sucked.

3. Troll
To start, Troll was awful. Then they made another one...and there wasn't even an effin' Troll in the damn thing!

2. Police Academy
Everyone loves to make fun of the Police Academy series, but because the sequels were so awful, they tend to forget that the first one is a pretty decent screwball comedy.

1. Jaws
They just got progressively worse and worse. By the time we got to Revenge, we had a shark who actually was out for revenge...for what? And it took place like 20 years after the first...and the shark roared...while jumping out of the sea like a whale breaching.

Did He Use Excessive Amounts of Table Salt During His Meal?

So, lately, I've been seeing a lot of love for one my picks for "completely underrated movies of all time," and I thought I'd spread some of that love around myself.

The movie?

Directed by Peter Jackson (yes, THAT Peter Jackson) and starring Michael J. Fox, The Frighteners is a very dark comedy/horror/thriller about a guy who sees ghosts, and makes friends with them. Together, they have a con going where the ghosts haunt a house, and Fox's character "exorcises" them for cash. However, Fox's character has somewhat of a dark past, and it's about to come back to bite him when people keep mysteriously dying in his small town, and keep dying after encountering him.

Beyond a pretty neat plot, and pretty good SFX for it's day, and has one of the greatest oddball characters in film, Special Agent Milton Dammers (played by Jeffrey Combs). A complete screwball with personal space issues who can't stand to hear a woman yell, he also has dubious interrogation techniques (the post subject is a question he asks to a woman who ate dinner with Fox's character, Frank Bannister).




If you've seen it, give a shout out. If you haven't, take some time and rent it whichever way you rent movies. I know it makes me miss Michael J. Fox that much more. Stupid Parkinson's Disease.