Your Elmo update

Attention, attention. Elmo can eat anything. Including his own foot.



He's really sorry about it, though.




In fact, he's so sorry, he wore himself out.



Of course, he pretty much sleeps all the time. Damn dog thinks he's a cat. In fact, notice how the cat is wide awake in the foreground?

Haiku time, it's haiku time!

Hey! You! SUV?
Why not just litter instead?
You'd save cash on gas

Who was buried in Grant's tomb?

Was there ever a better game to play with a group of friends back in "the day" than Trivial Pursuit? You could even team up if you had a lot of friends. Heck, you could even easily make special rules if the playing field wasn't level enough. Man, I miss playing game after game of Trivial Pursuit, proving that I was both the smartest and dumbest person alive (I once, infamously, shouted "IWO JIMA!" at a question. I don't even think the question was about WWII).

Now games are all needlessly interactive. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty damn cool, but I didn't need all the DVD stuff to keep me interested. That's all bells and whistles as far as I'm concerned. Just give me a wheel spoke looking board, round playing pieces, and a bunch of pie shaped wedges indicating how damn smart you are (or not, depending on how many you've earned) and I'm a happy camper. Hell, just sitting there with the question and answer cards and firing them off was totally cool in my book.

I totally loved the rule changes though. Pressed for time? Any correct answer would get you a pie piece. You rule and everyone else sucks? They get a pie piece anytime, you have to hit the spoke ends. Or they could pick any category they wanted on any pie piece try. Man, it was almost infinitely customizable. Especially since there are probably a trillion different subject sets of questions.

Not to mention the name was awesome. Double meaning FTW! (for the win for you ungeeky)

In other news, get in on the chain link goodness. Tell your friends to get in on the chain link goodness. Together, we can become internet gods. Well, maybe not internet gods, but we can make a dent.

Pull me under, I'm not afraid

So, in a shameless attempt to whore myself out to anybody and anyone, I've restructured my link system. You got a blog, or a similar type site, leave me a comment. You'll go in my Chain Links section (Chain links...get it?). Regular type links will remain as sausage links. Because they are fat, filler. woot? I link you, and you link me right back. Otherwise, no deal, because what kind of chain is that? A broken chain. And a broken chain is pretty useless. No uselessness around here, buddy.

Also, cheap plug for a buddy time. Go check out the comedic stylings of Big Ben Kennedy. He can be found at www.bigbenkennedy.com. Tell him I sent you, get absolutely nothing for free. Well, you might, he's a pretty nice guy. Definitely check this out. It's rather funny. LIVINALIE! PEYTON!

Remember to take E.T.'s advice, and Be Good, y'all.

The daily Haiku, special Oscar edition

Oscar for Marty?
Check sky for raining sulfur
Armageddon, nigh

Haiku of the Day

What's that James Cameron?
Bones of Christ, and the Marys?
Um, wow. Hrm. Okay.


Story at Aint It Cool News

Ads for Illiterate Programming? Nooooo!

So I look over at my Adsense panel and I see bad ads. Illiterate Programming ads. Ack, I've said the "real" term for them too much, and now they're advertising on my site. This must not continue. So, if you shall forgive me, I'm about to shamelessly try to skip the scales in some other direction.

Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books Books

Playstation Playstation Playstation Playstation Playstation Playstation Playstation Playstation Playstation Playstation Playstation Playstation Playstation Playstation Playstation Playstation

Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn

Sorry, had to do that one...just to see if anything will pop up, plus, I find that more more appealing to be advertised on my site than the other...

And now, for no good reason, Homer Simpson jumping.

Release this on DVD...yesterday!

Okay, I'm hardly alone here. Not by a looooong shot. So why isn't this movie on DVD yet. Let's make it happen people. It's a cinematic tour du force. It's got it all. And I can almost guarantee it will sell. What's this masterpiece you ask?
That's right, homeskillets. The Mama Jammin' Monster Squad. Wolfman's got nards, indeed. I want this DVD. I need this DVD. Someone make this DVD! I can buy TV shows, the complete series, of shit I've never heard of, but I can't get any love for Scary German Guy? And what about the eminent quotability. I've already mentioned "Wolfman's got nards!' but what about "She's a version..." or "My name...is HORACE." or "I'm in the goddamn club, aren't I?" or one that I haven't used in awhile, but still would if someone would steal my twinkie..."Creature stole my twinkie..."

I'm only half joking, my friends. It's not a great movie. But damn it all, I want this on DVD. I grew up with this movie. I need it.

And while we're at it...RAD, anyone? I'd like that available too. And not because it has a gymnast named Bart playing a BMXer named Bart. And not for that "dance scene" with "Send Me an Angel."

Meet George Jetson?

So, seriously, where are the flying cars?

I'm a bit disappointed that we've completely missed the boat on all the GOOD inventions from pop culture of yore, but we've completely surpassed the marks on others. Obviously, I pine for the flying car, because wow, there's a alleviation for gridlock. But let's look at some of the stuff they got right.

Cellphones. Ever watch the original Star Trek? Personal hand held wireless communication devices must have seen extremely out of reach back in the 60s. Speaking of Star Trek, our modern computers already surpassed theirs, as have interfaces. How about those awesome view screens they had...HD flat panel technology anyone?

So where is my freaking flying car. I WANT THE FLYING CAR.

I also wouldn't mind a personal robot maid, though with less sass than Rosie.



"The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be." - Paul Valery

Haiku of the Day

DJ not very smart
Louder isn't always better
Your speakers are blown


Just as a note for everyone, when you hear this buzzy distortion coming out of your speakers at any volume, that means you're overloading them, or you've already blown them and they can't handle a volume well within its specs anymore.

Haiku of the Day

I have nothing to say
Pissed off that I have to work
Tonight 2 am

Haiku of the Day.

Elmo got jealous
He likes cheese, and we ate it
He ate a Q-Tip.


True story.

Meet Elmo.

This is Elmo.









He's a Jack Russell, which I know, is odd for a Jack Russell to be all white. And no, we didn't name him. We rescued him, and that's the name he was saddled with already. I could probably think of about a hundred names I'd like to name a pet before Elmo. However, he pretty much responds to anything as long as it ends in "o," so I play around with that. However, Elmo is actually a fairly appropriate name. He's cute, and kinda annoying. Though he doesn't laugh like a moron if you tickle him. I wanted you all to meet him, because I'm sure I'll be telling everyone his stupid antics every once in awhile.

The reason why he's all artistic and looking off to his left like that? Well, if you try to take a picture of him straight on, this happens:










He's like Earl Hickey. Incapable of keeping his eyes open for a picture. Well anyway, that's your introduction to Elmo. When has a stupidity attack, which is quite often, I'll give you guys the dirt.

In other news, Bill Gates is hopeful that we don't get too reliant on computers.

From Gawker: Tabloid Editor Lacks Mirror.

Really, it speaks for itself. It really really does. Really really.

Of course, I've never been much for letting things speak for itself. A diatribe is worth a thousand pictures, I've always said.

Okay, I've never said that until now, but how would that sound? I guess I know how it sounds now...anyway.

Seriously? Are you serious? Have you looked at your own magazine lately (for those who aren't link readers, it's US Weekly)? Your whole magazine is the dumbing down of media. See the title for how I think your whining is fundamentally retarded. As I'm fond of pointing out, you're part of the problem, not the solution. Start being the solution or zip it.

(Please don't. I'm a sucker for celebrity gossip, until it becomes overkill)

Haiku of the Day. Includes a promise I'm sure to break!

Britney - pathetic?
This story will never die
But I'm done with it

Britney back in rehab, and she had "good reason" to lop her hair off...