Such An Obvious Joke

Yet, it's still hilarious.

Jessie and I are thinking about going to a movie tomorrow on Labor Day. We got nothin' else better to do, and why not. So, I check to see what's playing at our local favorite theater (which isn't one of the biggest in country which is really close, Muvico Egyptian 24. It's nice and all, but it gets a little...crazy...in there. This one is closer and relatively overlooked in Muvico's wake). I pan down the list, and see that the comedy Pineapple Express is still playing. Only two shows, though. First showing?

4:20.

Now, for those of you that aren't "in the know," Pineapple Express is a stoner movie, and 4:20 is a long standing "code" for marijuana. Such an obvious joke...but Jessie and I still laughed. Someone at the theater is a jokester.

Something Weird I Thought of Tonight...

So, I was watching TV, which isn't exactly a huge revelation. I do a lot of that. Well anyway, one of these chicken sandwich commercials comes on, the one with the "cheating on the cow" thing. I think it's for Burger King. Anyway, one of them takes place at a motel call something-shire. And it got me to thinking...

You know how in those cases, the "shire" is usually pronounced "sure?" But by itself, it's "shy-er."

Okay, it's not that weird, but yet again, another weird quirk of English. I wonder if Frodo and company would have been so eager to get back there if it were called The Sure.

Flashback Friday: Presidential Blues

Remember Arsenio Hall? In the wake of the closing of the DNC last night, let me take you back to one of the moments remembered as the "lauching" of President Bill Clinton during his first campaign for office...jamming on the sax.

"If this music thing doesn't work out, you can always run for President."

Humpday Haiku: Freshman Convocation

Convocation, weird:

Two and a half days setup

For one hour event

Quick Shots:

I miss Calvin and Hobbes. I once got in to a lengthy philosophical debate on whether or not Hobbes really existed, like if it was magical that only he could see and hear him, or whether he was merely another facet of Calvin's boundless imagination. No drugs were involved either. Maybe a couple beers.

I also miss The Far Side. Because Gary Larson would have had a field day with that revelation.

Raw sewage. Weird term. Is it ever, or will it ever be, cooked?

When did parody movies become desperate grabs at whatever's in "the now"? It's easy to say that it started with the Scary Movie sequels (which lead to all the other "Movie" movies) but I'm gonna actually blasphemize and say it was Mel Brooks' Robin Hood Men in Tights. Mind you it was a funny movie, but compare it to the general parodies that proceeded it. Men in Tights was aimed much more at a specific recent movie when it was made...Brooks hasn't been the same since.

Someone needs to grab all the MLB umpires by the scruff of the neck and point out that the operative words in the balk rules are "intent to deceive."

You know what would be the ultimate alternative fuel? Our bodily waste. I bet you're thinking "that's gross," but we'd never run short. And the term "I have gas" would take on a much different meaning.

Wendy's hasn't been the same since Dave Thomas died. I get the feeling that a lot of subordinates, once he was buried, had a meeting and said, "okay, now that he's out of the way, we can do all that stuff he wouldn't let us do."

I can't take complete credit for this, that goes to Kevin Hillock, but how is McDonalds getting away with their new chicken sandwich? It's a Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwich! Chicken on a buttered bun with pickles! It's not right, if Burger King came out tomorrow with a double tiered cheeseburger separated with a center bun with thousand island dressing McDonalds would have a team of lawyers pounce on them!

Why does it seem like only half of the people in the world know how to navigate a four-way stop? It's probably one of the easiest concepts. It's easier than parallel parking...yet everytime I stop at one, nobody seems to know what to do but me.

Not Sure it's a Good Thing or a Bad Thing...

But I've never been asked to "guest blog."

Hrm.

This was a very Mega post.

Weighing In:

Not too bad this week. Obviously not anything like that initial drop off, but I knew it wouldn't be. But, at this rate, I think I could very easily reach my first goal of being under 200 when Erin is born, which means if I crack 200 way early, I'll have to reassess that goal weight and timeline...Perhaps I'll go with 190. With not as much aggressiveness if I don't make it, since I really was focusing on starting out by getting under 200 before Erin arrives. If I do that a month to go, well...Go me.

Starting weight (8/12/08): 221.4

Weight today (8/25/08): 206.4

Difference from last weigh in: 7 lbs

Overall difference: 15 lbs.

Quick Shots:

Does Bob Vila bother to do his own home improvements, or does he contract out? I mean, I figure he does the little stuff, but if he wants to add a wing to his place, does he spearhead it himself, or simply find a contractor he trusts to take care of it because he doesn't want to do work when he's not "at work"?

Why six feet under? Where did that come from? 6 feet seems so arbitrary and random. Why not 5, or 10? Or 3? Is there some sort of scientific logic? And do gravediggers actually measure? What happens if they only go 5 1/2 feet under, can you get a discount?

Lawn Care

I don't get it.

I mean, I get it, I simply don't know what to do. Like, I mow my lawn...sometimes I trim. But my lawn looks baaaaad. And I wouldn't even know where to start? Reseed the grass? Maybe. But it seems like there's at least three kinds of grass in the lawn already. And I don't even know how to do that.

I should probably water part of my lawn because it's in the sun all day, that's the worst of it, looks like really dead zone. I don't seem to remember my dad doing that though, and it never got that bad...

Honestly, the only thing that looks good are the azalea bushes, and that's because those things take care of themselves.

Figured I'd share.

Photo Hunt: Wrinkled

Now, you might look at this photo, and think "wrinkled?" But look at Rasta Ralphie's face. And yes, I swear that's his name. For a guy of obvious age, he sure keeps good care of his body, eh?

Also, this picture was taken not long after this incident. And not by me, by Jessie, so credit goes to her. I was probably still contemplating death.

PhotoHunt

Flashback Friday: Olympic Edition

Remember Dan and Dave (for us Americans)?

Reebok blitzed us with Dan O'Brien and Dave Johnson up to the Barcelona Summer Games. These two were supposed to go head to head and duke it out for the decatholan.

One snag. Dan failed to qualify. He didn't even go. Dave ended up with the bronze medal.

Poor choice of horses to hitch your wagons too, Reebok.

Surgery - Part Three

Well, the nursing home (hole) effed up, and now she's not having the damn surgery. They just didn't do the pre-op stuff she was supposed to have last night.

I am so pissed right now.

Surgery - Part Two

So um...I was misinformed.

This is MAJOR surgery my mother is having later today. I feel dumb in hindsight because I knew what they were going to be doing, and when you really think about it, it's not a hop, skip and a jump kinda thing. It's not really routine, plus, they're really gonna be doing some cutting...so...

Pray harder and send bigger good vibes.

At least my mom is in good spirits. Hell, she really wants this surgery, and I can't blame her, but yeah, it's definitely bigger of a deal than I thought.

Humpday Haiku: Pets

Elmo and Ninja

Elmo still cute, annoying

Ninja still attacks.

On another note, today marks an actual week since I weighed myself at 221.4 and decided that enough was enough...so to mark the week, I weighed myself this morning...209.8. 11.6 pounds in one week. I'm not sure if I should be happy or scared for my health. Heh.

Surgery.

So, I said I wouldn't talk about my mom much, especially heavy stuff, after my other post. I feel this is an exception.

In that post I mentioned that she should probably have a permanent catheter at this point. Well, this Thursday the 21st she's having surgery to have exactly that.

Now, I forget the name of the procedure...I have the paperwork in my car. But the idea is that...they use some piece of her own body as the evacuation point for her bladder, to decrease infection from the foreign catheter. This piece of her own tissue (I forget what exactly they use) is then actually led out of her body at a point off to the side of her torso, where a bag is then kept attached (I guess by a strap) to her body. The bladder then empties that way, instead of through her now ruined urethra.

This is a somewhat new, but not cutting edge, procedure. So, do me a favor. If you pray, go ahead and do that, or if you're like me and that's not your bag, send some good vibes. I expect it to go fine (I think it's considered out patient, which is always a good sign for "not that serious") but weird things have happened to my family in surgery (like my grandmother, another story for another day). I'll be there at the hospital until she's out and fully awake on Thursday. I'll briefly fill you guys in on Friday.