I Struggle To Even Title This Entry

As most of my regular readers know, I'm hardly ever fully serious. I generally like to sprinkle at least a little dry wit in to every piece of writing I submit here. It's simply my style, and partially my personality.

Allow me to be completely serious this morning. No images. No snarky comments. Business.

I preface this by saying it doesn't matter what my personal viewpoint on the underlying debate is, and I don't particularly care what your viewpoint is either. The underlying debate is merely a catalyst for the complete and utter bullshit I've witnessed entirely too long now.

For a couple of years now, I've seen a bunch of assholes standing on the side of the road. Based upon a quick internet search, I'm going to say it's the Pro-Life Action League (and because of my outrage I'm not going to link to them, they don't deserve it. I struggled to actually name them, but if you are as outraged as me, it'd be nice to know where to send the hate mail). Apparently, in their particular lexicon, "action" is a synonym for "let's be completely morally reprehensible." Like I said...I am not here this morning to speak about the underlying debate of pro-live vs. pro-choice. But the tactics these people are using make my blood boil. I truly hope you haven't seen these people on the side of the road. I doubly hope that those of you with small children haven't seen these people on the side of the road.

Why?

Because they engage in shock and awe tactics, the original variety before that phrase was recently co-opted. They stand with large signs showing graphic and disturbing pictures of aborted babies to shock anybody who sees them.

I get it. Like I said, it's a shock and awe tactic designed to get people to, very heavily, think twice about getting an abortion. That's their agenda (to get people to think twice about abortions), and their basic agenda is not the debate here.

But it is morally reprehensible (I can't use that phrase enough about this) to stand on the side of a public road with large signage with disturbing imagery in order to carry out their agenda. They can not control who sees this, and that's part of the point...they know what they're doing, and to even think that it's an overall good idea makes them bereft of good judgment, common sense and a sense of decency.

The first time I saw this, a couple years ago, my first thought was "That's sick...children could see that and be scarred for life!" I voiced my indignation to others, but let it go. I've seen them since. It's usually around this time every year (which means that not only do they do this very much on purpose with full knowledge, they plan it, and based off what I briefly saw on the Pro-Life Action Leagues site they actually tour this crap). But yesterday, Jessie, my pregnant wife, saw these people for the first time in a different location. It disturbed her, an adult, so much, that she couldn't stop crying.

Pardon my french, but what the fuck do you think it'd do to a small child if it causes this reaction in a grown woman?

I told her that I've seen these people before, and said basically some of the same things I've said already about how I feel about the practice. Especially since I've seen clergy involved, which made me want to stop my car and tell them they should know better. You can't stand on the side of the street holding pictures of two people screwing to protest porn, or of people shot in the face to protest lack of gun control...and this is no different in my book.

So I shouldn't have been surprised when I saw them along the same stretch of road I see them around this time every year on the way to work. Today, though, I had to fight the urge to lean on my car horn, and drift towards the shoulder to make them scatter, hopefully getting them to drop their signage so I could run them over and ruin them.

Now look, don't get me wrong, I do not oppose their right to express their points of view. I simply call in to deep question their methodology. It's, for lack of a better term, complete and utter bullshit, for them to be allowed to stand on road sides with graphically disturbing imagery that anybody can and will see, including small children who could forever have their psyches damaged by seeing these images. It's irresponsible, and they have to know that, which makes it even more bullshit. Especially because I'm willing to bet the vast majority of these people think they're doing nothing wrong.

Handing out pamphlets with these images is one thing. You can control who you hand them to, you can have a warning on the cover about the graphic imagery. But to wave around very large signage? You're an asshole. Simple as that. You. Are. An. Asshole.

If any of you engage in this activity, I strongly recommend you do not tell me you do. Because I have no qualms about my own moral reprehensibility: I will punch you in the face for participating in these activities. Because I'm also pro-life in the sense that I'm very protective of my wife and I'm going to be even more protective of Erin...and if she ever is disturbed, even for a second, by seeing any of your vile bullshit tactics...you will wish I was never born. And wouldn't that be deliciously ironic in its own way?

I'm sorry, I guess with that last line I did insert some of my dry wit. However, the presence of the wit was not an indication that I am, or was, even remotely joking about this. If my daughter is affected by your tactics it...will...be...on.

Get off the streets, assholes. Learn to protest in a decent and humane manner. If you have such an esteem for life, try and remember that while you believe life starts at conception, that still means that life continues until death, and you're dealing with real live human beings out there.

Scarring untold numerous children for their lives...is it really worth getting your message across to maybe a couple hundred people a cycle? I'm willing to bet you think it is, which is why you are a bunch of morally rephresnsible assholes who are a discredit to their own cause.

Put the signs away. Talk to people, use civil discourse. Get off the damn streets.

This is one step above the idiots who bomb abortion clinics. Showing an appreciation for life means showing an appreciation for all life. You'd think these people only care about life from conception to birth by how they carry themselves.

I now step off my soapbox. I really hope you agree with me. Because to disagree with me means you think they're doing nothing wrong...and that means I have a major problem with how you think. And right now, I'm so upset that I don't care how that might effect any number of friendships and acquaintances this post might change.

Edit: Jessie sent me this link which shows how our own government condones this activity, which makes me even more upset.

Another edit: Smarmoofus mentioned something about not being near clinics and therefore lucky enough to not have to subjected to this. This reminds me of another reason to loathe and detest this practice...They aren't doing it around clinics. They purposefully choose high traffic areas for maximum exposure. The places I've seen them around here, and heard of them being around here, are not around clinics, but they are definitely in high traffic areas. Not that doing it around the clinics makes it any better, but purposefully placing themselves in high traffic zones sure makes it worse.

Humpday Haiku: Weird Metaphors

Raining cats and dogs

What an unusual phrase

Really quite absurd

As If You Needed More Proof...

...That I'm basically a man-child, an exchange from Jessie to me regarding her having to prompt me to do certain things:

"See, this is why I'm glad we're having a little girl. I already have a little boy."

Thank You Nameless Tiger Fans...

Two Saturdays ago, I went to an Orioles game where they gave out DVD's of Orioles Magic 08. As I made my way to the escalators, I saw 3 of them sitting on top of a trashcan. I assume Tiger fans who had no interest in them put them there...but they should have done what I did. After making my way up to them and nobody else grabbing them, I sure did.

And the next day, they were up on eBay.

And a week later, I'm 90 dollars richer.

You read that right. Nine-Zero Dollars richer. For a DVD that has a 2 minute video on it and maybe 10 more minutes of "making of" type stuff. That was free simply for showing up in the first place.

Thank you nameless Tiger Fans. I 'preciate it.

Photo Hunt: Hanging

Two for the price of one. Not only that, these both occurred on the same day. We no nuts, we crazy. For all those curious people who don't seem to understand what it is we're hanging off of based on the comments I've gotten so far, it's truss. Next time you go to a rock show or some other event where lights and backdrops and such have to be hung but there isn't a place to hang them proper, look up. You'll see a lot of truss.

PhotoHunt

Flashback Friday: Pogo Balls

Pogo balls are what you call 'em...

Wow. In hindsight, what a craptacular jingle that was. Didn't stop me from bouncing endlessly on that piece of crap. I remember taking that thing to school. Hell, I lived (well, live, since this is my childhood home, but at the same time they tore down the old school after building a new one behind it) so close to the school that I probably Pogo Ball'ed to school on occasion.

Also, apparantely nobody has the original commercials YouTubed so you'll have to make do with this bunch of jokers going all x-treme (though I will admit to having done the thing as a kid where you would spin the pogo ball then jump on it).

Attention: I'm a Blog-o-whore:

Not only have I started up a Baltimore (and general when it comes up) sports specific blog The B.I.C (which stands for Baltimore Inferiority Complex), I'm also now a contributor at Dented Cans. Mock and pity me.

I've Really Dropped the Ball

...writing wise.

I stopped writing again. Which doesn't really surprise me. I know me. I've only been able to produce consistently when I have a deadline. A deadline that isn't self enforced, one that has farther reaching consequences than "it's not done." Like, bad grades, or not getting paid. That sort of thing. I had about four chapters plus the prologue of The Reunion Tour when the subject matter stopped appealing to me. And I put it aside. Maybe to be revisited, maybe not.

I mention this today because I had a really great idea as I drifted to sleep last night...and damn it all to hell if I can remember it this morning. I spent most of my morning commute trying to piece it back together. I'm only around the edges of it and it's frustrating as hell. Especially since it's a mystery, or at the very least a thriller (the difference between them are pretty subtle yet pretty wide at the same time, don't you think? In most thrillers you know who did it...) and it's that damn "hook" I can't remember. The protagonist I have. In fact, I'm writing down a character outline/sheet so I can come back to him once I remember the hook, or if I come up with a new plot that fits.

Am I really a writer if I don't write? I'm not even talked about being published in any form, even self publishing. Or am I simply yet another idea man with a distinct motivational problem and a tendency towards procrastination and laziness.

If I get this idea back...I may try to do the "minimum word a day" deadline trick again. Maybe get The Queen to poke and prod me or something.

I'd love to have a work published. But I'd also be as pleased to complete a novel, even if it never sees mass printing. What's the saying? Everybody has one great novel in them? Something like that. I believe that.

Oh hey, good old mate David thinks my nostalgia fest about Kids Shows last Friday was deserving of mention in his Posts of the Day. So, I've got that.

Humpday Haiku: Early Mornings Suck

Been awake since 5.

I damn thee Michael Franklin.

Impromptu trips suck.

The Dark Knight.

Haven't seen it yet? Maybe you should come back to this later. I might inadvertently spoil something for you.

Amazing movie. There's so much going on...so many layers of things going on at once. Issues of duality (White Knight of Gotham/Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman/Joker) that ultimately lead up to the embodiment of duality in the Batman universe: Two-Face. Powerful imagery throughout.

And of course, a gleefully unrestrained performance by Heath Ledger. Everybody who flipped out when it was announced that Chris Nolan had cast Ledger should send Nolan an engraved apology. There has been talk of a posthumous Oscar nod for him. Screw that. The posthumous, while tragic, is circumstantial. This performance flat deserves to be nominated for Best Supporting Actor. Jack Nicholson was Jack in clown makeup. Ledger is The Clown Prince of Gotham. A completely impulsive driven entity that leaves scorched earth in his wake. Two of his lines stick out for me: "Do I look like a man with a plan?" and "I'm like a dog chasing cars! I wouldn't know what to do if I ever caught it!"

And as usual, the entire cast is superb. Bale is the best Batman we've had. I know some take issue with his "Batman voice" but I love that. Caine and Freeman are still wonderfully understated, and Oldman was almost born to play Lt/Commissioner Gordon. Gyllenhall is a definite upgrade over Mrs. Cruise, and Aaron Eckhart takes a relatively thankless role of Harvey Dent and makes it the lynchpin of the entire movie. Even Anthony Michael Hall turns up as a news anchor.

By the way, was anybody wondering if the casting of Nestor Carbonell as the Mayor of Gotham was a subtle inside joke...Carbonell played "Batmanuel" in the live action Tick.

Anyway...I highly recommend it. They've set the new bar...I don't know if they'll be able to top it.

To the Teenager Outside the Snoball Stand:

You don't borrow money, even 3 dollars, from a stranger. You borrow money from people you know. Family, friends, even loose acquaintances. But from a stranger? You simply get it. It's yours. You're gonna find me to pay me back 3 bucks? Doubt it. I really didn't have the three dollars, but I sure as hell wouldn't have let you borrow it like you asked.

Flashback Friday: Kids Shows

So, when I was growing up, Sesame Street was only really coming in to its own, and while I watched it, I watched Nickelodeon programming so much more...and I do believe that channel was even younger.

Tangential thought: Why does MTV get so much ground breaking recognition while Nickelodeon is barely talked about? At least Nickelodeon is still a children's network, and any and all tweaking still kept the same basic idea of it being a children's network (the only exception being Nick-at-Nite which was old TV shows for older people...because children were supposed to be in bed by then, and now has spawned its own channel of TV Land). MTV has to have separate channels just to play the music videos the channel was invented to do. Ugh, Nick needs more recognition.

Anyway, I grew up on a show that I know a lot of people remember, because I mention it and they say "hey, I remember that." Pinwheel. Blatant Sesame Street knockoff (two guys living in the same room named Plus and Minus who bickered a lot? NOOOO, that's not a knock off!) but for some reason I liked it more, even though it was more classic puppetry than the innovative Muppet technology (well, technically it was technology for puppetry). Here's the intro, which I think manages to get every character in to the intro in a short amount of time, too:

I also watched what might have been the most disturbing childrens show in history: Today's Special. Not so much like, scar you for life disturbing, but simply odd...I mean, it was about a mannequin that came to life when the store closed to help out the night dresser, and the night wtachmen, and such, and in doing so taught lessons on a specific theme for the show (which was billed as todays special...get it?)...though I guess it might have led some stoner guy to turn it in to the cinematic gem Mannequin, so you could say it was disturbing there...here's Today's Special's opening, with a neat little jazz song for the first 10 seconds...which degrades in to like, every 80s TV show theme ever.

And of course, if you watched Nick...you saw Picture Pages! Ah, Cosby.

New Look

No readily available camera, so you'll have to settle for the Simpsons approximation.

Also, I found out the hard way that I can drift in my car. I'm fine, thanks. But let's just say that after it was all over (not gonna get in to details but if I could get drag that other driver out of his car and beat him senseless and take his license and throw it in to the Chesapeake Bay, I would), a guy behind me got me to roll my windows down to tell me "that was some incredible driving, I doubt I could have avoided that!"

Also, under 100 days until Erin is due. I'm sorry, until our guess date. We're taking a class that accentuates positive language.

Gotta Go Back In Time...

Title's just for you, Ben.

So, anyone ever ask you "if you could go back in time and change something about yourself or something that happened to you, would you? And what would you do?" Sure you have. I used to think I wouldn't do a damn thing. Leave well enough alone. Who knows what I'd screw up.

Lately, though, I've come to realize that I would do one thing. One thing only. And it might only effect a few things in my life, but it probably would have made things much easier for me as a teenager, especially in my latter days of high school.

I'd go back and tell my younger self what I've come to realize about my nature: I'm creative. Or, more specifically, I have a desire to be creative.

Seems kind of odd, right? Well, let me elaborate a bit. From like, third grade (maybe fourth) on, I was a musician. I started playing the trombone. Got relatively good at it. Didn't hurt that there was a significant lack of trombone players in my area so I was usually the only one, or one of two.

By the time I hit high school, though, other creative bugs hit me. I didn't really start exploring them until later, specifically my senior year. But they caused all kinds of headaches. But I wanted to try acting out...which caused friction with my music teacher.

Now, I can look back and see that he saw massive potential in me musically that was being wasted because I split my time. But back then, I was a head strong kid who wanted to do what he wanted to do.

So, I'd go back and tell that kid, "there's nothing wrong with being creative in multiple media...but you should express that to others." Like my music teacher. Maybe come to a better understanding with him...maybe find a way to do both in equal time. At least help him realize that I wasn't trying to be an unmotivated piece of crap, I simply couldn't be held to one medium of creativity. I could have avoided what turned in to a real emotional tug of war that year.

So, whenever Doc Brown finishes up that Delorean, I'll know what I'll be doing.

RIP Spidey...

Well, for any of my old friends with nostalgia, Spidey is gone. No longer shall you see this:

Now, you shall see this:

I almost can't believe it's the same guitar. I'll tell you one thing...the new pickup in the neck, and the way I got it wired (5 way selector switch instead of 3 way...for those who don't know guitars, that changes the pickup options...before you could use the neck pickup, the bridge pick up, or the pickups in parallel...now I can also use the neck and bridge pickups as if they were single coil...it varies the tone...just trust me on that one), it's hard to believe it's the same guitar.