Gone down da oshun, hun.

So, for those that know me, or look closely at my profile, I come from Glen Burnie, Maryland, which is also known as "Where the mob went years ago when they were driven from Baltimore." You spit in Baltimore, and if the wind is blowing south it could end up in Glen Burnie. That's just for geographical reference. I'm second generation (at least) Baltimorean (hey, I was born there, it counts) and I have a weird affinity for my home. Though, if you live here, it's not that weird, it's actually quite common. It's that "you can't say anything about us, but I can say anything I damn well please" mentality. That subject title is Balmerese for "Going down the ocean, person of acquaintance." And if you've never heard a Balmer accent, it's just not the same. It's Northern inflection with Southern drawl. Maryland really IS the border state, just listen to us talk.

Check out this link for a more in depth look at how dumb we talk. I'd like to say I don't fall in to this, however, I do. Especially when tired. I don't ever call the sink "the zink" like my father always did, but I do slip in to the dialect from time to time. Most notably I refer to a local road route as "Route a-hundred" or "hundred" instead of "one hundred." That really rankles Jessie's nerves, too.

But that's not what this is about. I wanted to talk to you about two authors who really capture Baltimore. If you like reading, I want you guys to check them out sometime.

They both write mysteries, though one is more whimsical (though not completely) and the other is much more suspense based. Between the two of them they manage to capture everything I love about Baltimore. Both write about detectives. Both quite accidental detectives, though one remains an accidental detective while the other embraces the profession once involved.

First up is Tim Cockey. He's the more whimsical of the two, and his detective is the completely accidental one. Hitchcock Sewell, undertaker. Baltimores most eligible undertaker, but an undertaker. Hence the gimmicky titles, including the first book "The Hearse You Rode In On" and "Hearst Case Scenerio." His last book, "Backstabber" broke this trend (thankfully, ask Sue Grafton, James Patterson, or Janet Evanovich how fun it is to be stuck with a naming convention), but that doesn't mean the gimmick detracts from the books. Cockey's books are fun. They capture that whimsical side of Baltimore, that side that isn't quite John Waters depraved, but still kind of fringe. And they aren't complete gimmie gimmie mysteries, either. Give him a chance if that's your cup of tea. Or just because I said so.

Second up is Laura Lippman. Her detective is former newspaper writer Tess Monaghan. She comes dangerously close to the stereotypical feisty female lead, but Lippman straddles that line fairly well through quite a few books now. Her outlook on the city is much, much bleaker. "Homicide: Life on the Streets" is optimistic, let's just say that. I've actually had to put one of her books down because of the subject material. Don't get me wrong, it was an excellent book, but there was simply one point where I went "wow...okay, gotta take a break." The first book is "Baltimore Blues." Again, pick it up, if anything just because I said so.

Some links for you.

Tim Cockey
Laura Lippman