Carol Vs. Bart: The Interview.

I'm sure most of you read Carol's work. If you don't, you should. Seems to me that we share a sense of humor, though she skews towards the British penchant far more than me. Not to say that I'm not that weird mix of dry and absurd, but she's got a distinct advantage over me, the actually being British part.

Well now it's on like Donkey Kong, because she's grilling me like a villain. In layman's terms, an interview. She cheated outrageously by asking me about 20 questions in a 5 question format, but that's okay, she's merely trying to be in depth. So without any further ado, I give you the figh...I mean, interview. My answers italicized.

VS.

1) Let's start with a little back round (sic) question; Most of us are aware you have a dear (and may I say long-suffering) wife. How did you meet, how long have you been together, are you both from the same State, what are your pet names for each other, and do you wish to have any children, if so, what kind of a father do you think you will be?

She's not all that long suffering, actually. We've been married less than a year. August 12th will be the year anniversary. We met using an online dating service, which, if you're anything like me, I highly recommend. The only drawback is that people can't seem to differentiate "online personals" with "meeting someone in a chat room and 'falling in love' then meeting." We talked for a few days, then went on a date. If this were 25 years ago, it'd have been newspaper personals. Same beast, different technology. We've been together coming up on 3 years, total.

Yes, we're both from the same state (Maryland).

Pet names? Beyond baby and honey, we really don't use pet names anymore.

Children are in the future, yes. Give us a couple of years. I'm actually quite scared to death about what kind of a father I'll be, but Jessie assures me I'll do fine. I do always joke that if we have a daughter, she's screwed. She's so gonna hate me when she gets to be a teen. I'm only partially joking, though.

2) Are you a political animal? What are your views on the war in Iraq? Have you ever been to any political rallies/protests? What are your views on global warming? (Yeah, I know, I'm making you work hard with all these multiple questions, but these are my rules now, hehehe..)

Yes, you are, you cheater. I have views, but I wouldn't say I'm an animal. I try to stay mostly out of that stuff because if I were to start waving my political flag on a regular basis, I'd get in to altercations. Anyway, I'm diametrically opposed to the war in Iraq. When it started, I was skeptical, but willing to give some benefit of the doubt to the administration. Now that the pretenses for entering were proven false, and the whole thing has become FUBAR, I support the troops. Meaning "I support their right to not die." In order to not cause any altercations, I will not continue on that line of thought.

Global warming? Well, it's pretty much scientific fact. However, I don't claim to know what's actually going to happen, or when, as a result of the greenhouse effect.

3) We all occasionally put our foot in it, our show ourselves up in some cringe-inducing fashion, I should imagine this is something you might do on a regular basis - what is the most memorable one for you?

I think I've managed to repress most of those memories. You're right though, I tend to do this on a semi-regular basis, on very small scales every time. But nothing like, story-time memorable, though. Not that comes immediately to mind. Sorry to disappoint.

4) What is the first job you ever had, and what does your job entail now? What do you see yourself doing ten years from now, and if you could pick your dream job, what would it be?

Paper boy. That's pretty standard around here. The first like, "go to work, get cut a paycheck" type job was at Chuck E Cheese. I've discussed that before. I've also discussed my current job, but basically, I'm an audio/visual/multimedia engineer. Sound guy, light man, and computer/projection guru in one awesometacular package. In ten years, I haven't the slightest clue. Ten years ago I would never in a million years have predicted this outcome for myself, so I'm not about to try and predict the results of the next ten.

My absolute dream job would be to own my own theatre, and then produce/executive produce the material. Live, mind you, not film.

5) If money were no object, (after you bail everyone else out and give to any good causes) what would you do with the rest of your life?

The theatre ownership thing. If money were no object, it'd be spectacular. I could make it state of the art and keep it that way, and do whatever I wanted there. I could put on spectacles of budget excess one season, then put on a struggling playwrights work the next.

And there we have it. Of course, this is a cross promotional type thing, which means if you want to...I can interview you. Here be the rules, you scalliwags.

Do YOU want to be interviewed?

Interview rules

1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions. If you don't have your email on your blog or profile, make sure I get it somehow.

3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.